I learned a valuable lesson when my mother passed away; that we are all running out of time. We may recognize this on some level but until you are faced with it head on you are able to push it to the side. Even now I find myself living in a way that forgets there is a clock ticking.
Our lives are fast-paced and most of us are overscheduled. We don’t really have the time to contemplate mortality. Having kids only exacerbates that. I feel accomplished if I get through the day and manage to plan ahead enough to sign them up for a summer camp or schedule a vacation.
I was certain my mother would be around at least until her mid-80s because her mother was healthy and full of spunk until she passed at 85. My mother was strong, very young looking and had a zest for life! She wasn’t one to sit around and watch TV; she wanted to go out, see friends, shop, dine, travel, and enjoy her life. So it was a shock when we found out that the universe had other plans. She was 63 and I was 36.
January of 2013 we all became acutely aware that her days were numbered. When you get that kind of news, your mindset shifts completely. Suddenly I was faced with the reality I had to fit it all in. Whatever I wanted to say or do with my mother had to fit into days, not years. How do you celebrate what will be your mother’s last Easter? Last birthday? Last Mother’s Day? On top of this I was faced with a biological constraint - I was pregnant with my second child and my first was only two years old. And my mother and I lived on opposite coasts.
So I did what was humanly possible and I traveled to be with her until the last possible moment I was allowed to fly (36 weeks according to my doctor) and then traveled to be with her again once my son was born. I kept traveling to be with her until my daughter’s preschool finished for the year and then I took both kids and just stayed with her until the end. It was the best thing I could have done and because of that I have peace and closure.
She left me many gifts but the gift I share with you today is this - don’t wait. Don’t assume you have time or your loved ones have time. This may seem like a harsh message, but for the most part we are operating under the assumption that we have unlimited days on Earth. If there’s a job you want, apply for it. If there’s someone you love, tell them. If there’s a situation you need to leave, don’t stick around. If you have a business idea, take the first step in launching it. We all have this one beautiful life, make it count.
© Marie Yuann 2025
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